13 Ways To Ninja Out Of Sexy Time

Don’t feel like a jerk about it, you and I both have been through this more than once. You shouldn’t have to feel bad for not, you know, "feeling" it. But, I can understand why you’d feel just a smidge bad for "letting that person down".

In any case, these are some pretty solid excuses you can use to successfully ninja out of sexy time. Brace yourself, it’s about to get sticky.


1. Ryan, 31, Media Broadcaster

“I can’t do it with other pussies in the room. *Cats watching*”


2. Russell, 25, Tattoo Artist

“Give me 5 minutes…. Then you continue sleeping. Disclaimer – it only works when you’ve been in a long enough relationship. :P”


3. Hanni, 25, Social Media Specialist

“On my period. It’s a classic. Then you have to ber-drama a little.”


4. Celia, 26, Homemaker

“Yeah, using your period works, but if he gets you to use your mouth instead, then you can say you have an ulcer. Or a cold sore. And they get turned off like a charm!”

5. Kiyo, 24, Writer

“I’m not on the pill and I’m allergic to condoms.”


6. Armand, 32, Account Director

“I’m just two weeks into my sex change. Or, just say you don’t feel sexy today. Then do the puppy dog eyes.”


7. Voon, 28, Stylist

“I had a bad case of the runs this morning. And follow up with ulcers if he wants you to go down.”


8. Felicia, 25, Banker

“I have heavy discharge? I’m really NOT in the mood. I’m ovulating? Or you can just say you’ve got a pimple on your hoo-hah and that it’ll hurt.”


9. Lance, 27, Senior Social Media Specialist

“God is watching.”


10. Esty, 25, Finance/Unicorn

“My brother lost his house keys. I need to go home, like, right now.”


11. Vanessa, 21, Designer

“Sore throat and cramps! Then feign sickness…”


12. Darren, 32, Talent Manager

“I’m actually underage.”


13. Lyn, Secret Age, Social Media Manager

“I’ve never said no, though…”

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