21 Confessions Of The Weirdest Sh*t People Do When Stuck In Traffic

Anyone who lives in a buzzing metropolis have a common ground on one thing: a city’s traffic. We start to compare who has the worst traffic like its some sort of competition. Either way, I’m sure most people will share the same sentiment about traffic.

I, for one, can’t even begin to describe the loathe I feel when I see a pile up of cars ahead of me…

It’s without a doubt that being stuck in a traffic jam is THE WORST and it’s almost become an inevitable part of our every day lives as humans.
Kind of like a natural bi-product of evolution which means all we gotta do is just accept it, suck it up and be patient when you find yourself stuck in one — or at least try and outsmart the jam!

I think we can all agree that the definition of ‘hell on earth’ is when you have to pee or take a sh*t while you’re stuck in traffic. I was once caught in a jam that lasted two hours and I swear I almost convinced myself that it was okay for me to pee in a bottle…

Dont worry, I didn’t.

Did you know the average human spends 3 years of their lifetime getting stuck in traffic?! 3 freakin’ years! That’s waaay too much time wasted being pissed off and cussing other drivers.

So, I’m not gonna be wasting those 3 years of my life being shy of the weird things I do when I’m stuck in traffic. ESPECIALLY, if I’m trying to distract my bladder from exploding. From turning up the volume in my car and lipsyncing to “Respect” by Aretha Franklin to having a heated conversation with yourself.

Here’s to embracing the weird a$* sh*t I’ve witnessed whilst being held up in a jam, along with the stuff I may or may not do myself…

 

Doing a full blown make up tutorial in the car.

Been there, done that.

 

Singing a duet with your favourite artist.

 

Shooting a music video with said favourite artist.

 

Having a conversation with your non-existent passenger about how you think modern day dating is messed UP.

“I know, right?!”

 

Practising your speech if you were in ever in a situation where you would have to open your heart up to your crush/boy you’re texting/significant other.

 

Pep-talk.

Self-motivation in the form of talking to oneself. Been there, done that.

 

Start weighing out the pros & cons of purchasing a motorbike.

So you have to deal with as little traffic as possible.

 

Start practicing your speech to your parents to convince them about said motorbike.

“Please, you guys!”

 

Pray to a higher power.

That you’ll never ever drink again if you just magically make the traffic go away.

 

Practicing your dance moves.

Just getting ready for your debut with Beyoncé.

 

‘Danger-Zone’ Handling.

Ever people watched and found a couple in a car doing something nasty? Join the club. There’s a time and place for that kind of fondling you guys. SERIOUSLY.

 

Sexual hand gesturing.

As you peer out of the corner of your peripheral vision you see some pervert making inappropriate sexual hand gestures. C’mon ladies, how many times has this happened to you?

 

Existential crisis.

You start to contemplate the various life-changing things you could be doing with the time wasted being stuck in traffic.

 

Having an argument out loud.

“This one is for you guy-who-keeps-honking-in-traffic!”

 

Determined nose picking.

Do you think your car have an invisibility cloak or something?

 

Unsanitary contact lenses adjusting.

Dude, I just saw you pick your nose and now you’re adjusting your contact lenses?

 

Phlegm spitting.

Apparently the person in the car next to you has 5 days worth of phlegm to spit out by the roadside.

 

Spa Parlour.

Clipping those toenails to pass the time, what a sight!

People getting out of their car.

Rolling a J.

“Ok, I guess that’s cool bro.”

Couples who PDA AF.
Boundaries, people!

Catching Pokemon.

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