Despite hook-ups becoming more common, studies suggest that we really do want to settle down and get married. So if everyone is just dying to commit, why is it that you’re alone in your jammies, watching rom-coms and eating a tub of ice cream on weekends? Well…
You’re Less Intelligent When You’re Ogled
In a study, women were invited to participate in an interview with a man who looked them up and down, and then proceeded to subject them to an “objectifying gaze” and give them written feedback that they were “looking good”. Then the ladies were asked to complete a series of math questions, and yes, you’ve guessed it! These women reported having more difficulty answering the simple questions as opposed to men. Not only do the ogled women suddenly have problems doing math, they were also more likely to feel ashamed about how they were dressed and had a tendency to seek the approval of the men objectifying her. You can see how this works against you when you’re on a first date, don’t you?
You Live and Breathe Rom-Coms and TV Shows
Romantic movies only concentrate on the beginning of a relationship – the time when everything is all butterflies, grand gestures and all day sex. And that obviously drums some very unrealistic expectations into the mind. And it’s not just rom coms, even in TV shows that aren’t specifically about couples can give you expectations of how relationships should be, leaving you disappointed with reality.
Don’t believe us? Think of any favourite TV show or movie. No matter the genre, there is always a partner/friend/sibling who is the anchor. But real life doesn’t always provide us with a cheerleader or someone who helps you pick the pieces off the ground. A study suggests that you will not only start to see these relationships as normal, but you are less likely to work at your relationships, and more likely to believe that you’d find someone more attractive and compatible if you left your partner. (Yikes!)
You’re Sizing It Up Against Your First
First relationships are often carefree, yet passionate and full of spark. But researchers have found that the secret to a happy adult life is to forgo puppy love in its entirety. And we get it – if your first relationship was all young, wild and free, your brain will be wired to expect every subsequent relationship to live up to that one. Different relationships at different points of your lives affect you in different ways, and the nature of adult relationships is dealing with bigger problems than staying out past curfew. So if your dissatisfaction might just stem from that puppy love you had when you were a teen.
You Are Actively Searching for a “Soul Mate”
Our generation seems to be obsessed over this elusive thing called a soul mate. While it IS possible to meet someone and have an intense connection, problems are going to eventually arise. If you’re a firm believer that out of the burgeoning human population, only one person out there is made for you, it’s easy to give up and move along to the next. So it’s no surprise that those who believe in soul mates are statistically more likely to get divorced.
While the verdict is still out about soul mates, we’re pretty sure that relationships (like everything in the world) need work to keep afloat. Italian scientists discovered not too long ago that sweaty palms and butterflies last only a little over a year; anything that comes after that is completely up to you. So stop running just because they’re not checking all your ‘soul mate’ material boxes, hon!