5 Signs You’ve Outgrown Your Best Friend

Every now and then, one of those mates becomes a talking point in your friendship circle. If you’ve managed to get through your 20s so far without breaking up with a friend, congrats you’re superhuman! But if you’re feeling the wrath of a friendship war or have asked yourself “Why am I friends with her?”, psychologist and author of Detox Your Relationship, Jo Lamble helps us narrow in on the signs that it’s time to toss the friendship bracelet.

You only chat on Facebook

Lamble says that we’re living in a world dominated by social media, friendships are measured in terms of the degree of face-to-face contact. “Make three attempts to catch up,” Lamble suggests. “If these efforts are consecutively unsuccessful, resign her as a Facebook friend and focus on stronger friendships.”

Your lives are different now

Hands up if you’ve cringed at the thought of a coffee date with your friend who recently got a degree in nappy talk. “It’s really common to feel disconnected from a friend if they have kids and you don’t,” says Lamble. “It may only be temporary. Put a bit of space between you both sometimes, and hope that you might reunite later in time.”

She’s become a little selfish

Things can be overshadowed when a drama queen arrives. You walk away feeling exhausted even though you didn’t actually utter a word. If the friendship has become one-sided over time, then you’re going to start feeling resentful,” Lamble explains. “Tell her what you want to do, and if she refuses to consider your feelings, it’s time to break it off. Tell her you don’t feel like catching up and if she doesn’t ask why, walk away.”

You’ve grown closer to other like-minded people

Science says we gravitate towards the things and energies we like. Yep, the girls you grew up with in your hometown might not quite understand that you like the girls you work with, and that’s OK. While it’s important to have a broad range of friendships from all walks of life, Lamble says it’s hard to be close to someone who doesn’t share your values. “Chances are she is feeling the same gap,” says Lamble. “Simply make it clear that you are hanging out with your new friends from work or art class or uni because you find them more like-minded.”

When you need her most, she’s MIA

A true test of friendship is how they support you. “If your friend runs a mile when you’re struggling, perhaps she doesn’t know what to say or do,” says Lamble. “Tell her what you need and see if she responds. If she’s still MIA, then it might be time to let go of the relationship. You’ll only feel resentful down the track.”

 

Credit: Phoebe Hooke

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