Orgasm Help Desk: Because turning it on and off only works for computers. Remember these tips next time you’re between the sheets.
1. They need direction; you’re embarrassed
Lose the idea that men know what to do through experience and women don’t because you have similar bits. Stay silent and you’ll only focus on what’s turning you off.
2. You’re more worried about how you look than how it feels
“We generally don’t look much different during orgasm than when we’re having a good laugh,” reassures Dr Cass in The Elusive Orgasm.
3. You’re constantly thinking, “I have to get there right now.”
But that strive for perfectionism equals fear of failure. The second you think about an orgasm (the future), you stop feeling it (the present). Focus on now.
4. You feel weird about touching yourself
“We’re taught in society that our vaginas are forbidden. But seriously. Masturbate. You need to know your vulva,” says Melissa A. Fabello, co-managing editor at Everyday Sexism.
5. Life is too stressful to think about the bedroom
Vent. Cry. Yell. “Women who cope in this way are much less likely to have their sexual feelings affected by what’s happening in their lives,” adds Dr Cass.
Credit: Gemma Askam