Additional Reporting Pamela Choo
Collectively, #TeamCLEO has been through more than their fair share of failed long-term relationships, marriages, dalliances, acquaintances… You name it. Yet before your fingers reach for Tinder, we do have some well-intentioned advice to either ease you through a rough patch, help you through a break-up or just be an important reminder if you’re already happy and loved-up.
We also asked an expert, Violet Lim, CEO of dating company Lunch Actually to give her input. And so, here are our lessons in love.
lesson #1: Let go of the little things
Even though it gets annoying when your boyfriend of seven years still can’t seem to put down the toilet seat after using it, PERSEVERE! Why? Because while you are hung up over this one tiny little habit, there are probably things that you do that might not tickle his fancy either, I.E: your disgusting hair balls that are clogging the shower and the hairbrushes and yet he puts up with your hair fall rate and still loves you for who you are.
Violet says, ‘There is no “perfect” person or “perfect” relationship. Have you heard of the phrase “choose your battles”? Do you really want to argue and pick a fight over every little thing that your boyfriend does around the house? Or the fact that maybe being neat is not his strong suit?’
Yeah, we should really think about that.
‘Importantly, look at the things that would make him a good partner, good husband and a good father. You are not perfect either — so I’m sure you wouldn’t want to have him pinpoint every thing that you do as well. So don’t do it to him, and remember, that everyone has their own strengths and qualities — and a relationship is about compromising and complementing one another,’ she adds.
Ultimately, it’s the big picture stuff that matters. He’s a gentleman when you go out, he takes the high road when you guys are fighting over something stupid like who didn’t say goodnight first, and he puts up with your hangriest moments, kisses you on the forehead and says you’re beautiful.
Don’t sweat the small stuff, literally. Nobody’s perfect, and what you need is a partner who’s loyal, attentive to your needs and is willing to share their better parts of their life with you.