Life seemed so simple in our teens. Puppy love was so easy – you would feel butterflies in your stomach, receive teddy bears and love notes and it would all be hunk-dory.
But in your 20s, relationship decisions are a lot harder – they become long term-commitments. If you’re not sure about a guy, save yourself the heartache and ask yourself these questions before falling head-over-heels for someone who’ll only end at the bottom of a tub of Ben & Jerry’s and copious amounts of chick flicks.
“Am I myself when I’m with him?”
Too many girls think that they need to be certain things for guys to be into them. But you can’t pretend to be someone else forever, kiddo.
“Am I falling in love with him or the idea of him?”
Like the idea of you that you cultivate to make him like you more, there could be an idea of him in your mind versus who he really is.
“Would my friends and family like him?”
The whole star-crossed lovers deal can get really old, really fast.
“How important to me is a relationship right now?”
It’s the age old case of ‘right time wrong person’. He may check all the right boxes, but if you can’t invest enough energy and attention to your relationship, like a potted plant, even the most resilient of cacti will eventually wither away and die.
“Do we have long-term goals and values?”
Liking the same music, fashion trends, movies and hobbies is great. But if you don’t have shared long-term values, things are not going to get very far.
If you’re not sure, ask yourself and him these three questions (which according to Harvard-trained mathematicians if your answers are the same) are a pretty good indication of whether you’ll last: “Do you like horror movies?” “Have you ever traveled around another country alone?” and “Wouldn’t it be fun to chuck it all and go live on a sailboat?”