Nobody except for yourself can pursue your hopes and dreams in life, every step you take along the way takes patience, effort and persistence. Self-sabotage can be defined as a variety of things to many different people. Generally, it’s more or less built on the mindset of making sure a goal doesn’t happen on purpose.
Like shooting yourself in the foot when you’re 3-inches away from the finish line during a marathon.
Picking a fight with yourself
An example would be being in a situation where you’ve worked hard over a certain period of time and now you’re the closest you’ve ever been to achieving a goal but, decide to jump into a spiral of negativity that causes delay or a dead-end to the achievement. Common ways we tend to distract ourselves from our priorities; procrastination, substance abuse or stress eating (my favourite).
The obvious ones are easy to notice but the more subtle red flags like cutting ties with people around us based off fear of abandonment can take effect on both our mental and emotional health in the long run. This sort of behaviour can easily rope us into alienating ourselves from the world, which won’t make anything better TBH.
We’re all guilty of it one way or another But, why?
Everyone has their own lessons they carry from the past and that inevitably reflects on our choices. Engaging in self-sabotage for me personally was based friendships I had lost, which made me wary of those around me. From cancelling plans just because “i didn’t feel like it” to ghosting people i thought would potentially let me down.
The self-destructive side of me took a toll when I realized I didn’t have anyone on the other line when I desperately needed someone to talk to. It took a moment of reflection to realize it was my fault to begin with.
Ask yourself when you’re either second guessing your decisions or notice you’re about to go down the self-destruct route whether going forth with it (whatever it may be) will make you a happier person? Be logical and mindful that most of the guilt we feel comes from a place of fear.
Don’t let fear take control over your life, it’s all in your mind. It won’t happen overnight but being able to detect a pattern of behaviour is the first step to work towards a better you!