Not every relationship ends in a terrible fight like it was extracted from snippet of a soap opera, believe it or not some people still remain friends with their exes (I know, How?!).
Perhaps I’m not mature enough to be in the state of mind of being able to talk about my current life with someone I used to date, either way, I have major respect for people who can elevate themselves to be in that position.
I started spring cleaning the other day and was quick to realize how much junk I subconsciously hoarded over the past years, even after moving from one place to another. Going through numerous hand-written heart-shaped cut Valentine cards back when I was in high school from ex-boyfriends, they bring back such heartfelt memories of being a teen and thinking I was in love. Obviously now understanding it was just infatuation, the memories remain sweetly scented.
There are no applied rules to this. You can hoard and tell nobody about it, therefore there will be no explanation needed. But what if you start getting serious with your current partner? Is it fair to keep items that were once a token of love from the past?
Keep ’em if you just want to get a kick out of it years down the road. If you know yourself it doesn’t mean anything beyond keeping a memory alive, then they can simply be a blast from the past like my silly little stash of notes from high school crushes. Although if they trigger something within you like a 5-page letter with a strong message, it won’t help you to move on if you cling onto them. Your current partner won’t appreciate it either, if he finds them stacked in your bedside drawer.
If it was a gift, it’s definitely just another clothing item from your wardrobe that you didn’t fork out money to purchase (winning). But if you’re still wearing your ex-boyfriend’s t-shirt and trying to sniff out his musky scent out of it, BURN IT WITH FIRE. A t-shirt can just be a t-shirt at the end of the day, but if you’re only keeping it for the sake of keeping a piece of your ex with you, you’re not over him.
I know a lot of my friends who don’t wipe out their ex’s from their image galleries because they say “If I delete them, that means I’m taking the effort. Taking the effort means I still care”. Perhaps this is their ego talking, but I do see their point.
Personally, I didn’t think much about the pictures of my ex I still had in my gallery until my boyfriend found them and was literally appalled by the collection of photos. My advice here is to bin everything you wouldn’t want to find in your boyfriend’s memory space. At first I thought, “what’s the big deal?” which I then got the answer to when I put myself in his shoes. I wouldn’t want to browse through his pictures of him and his ex, neither should I let him go through that.
Bottom line is to keep the things that you don’t still attach to a significant person, they should instead be attached to memories. So years down the road, you can look back and recognise the position you were in and how you’ve evolved. No matter how much it hurts today, time heals everything.