You’ve had multiple BFFs and even an inner circle… back in high school. The real question is — how do you make (and stay) friends as adults?
Did you know that according to a research published in the journal Personal Relationships, friendships are so crucial, that as you grow older, they’re more important for your health than family connections? So, serious question — would you give up that last bite of your cake for your BFFs, and vice versa? If the answer is a resounding ”yes”, you’ve got a keeper. Sadly, not all friendships are this easy. You may have had so many best friends, then life happens. Sometimes you lose touch with people. Other times, there are those friends that you don’t talk to for months but when you do, it ’s as though time never passed. Then there’s the elusive category of friends where you both decide to put in the work.
Now the real toughie: how do you not screw them all up? Read on to find out.
PASSIONS VS PEOPLE
Ever noticed a bunch of people sitting at a café that look like someone assembled a mismatched cast for a TV show, but they seem to be the best of friends? Chances are these people all have one thing in common: a shared passion or hobby, and they make it work. “There are four basic behaviours to maintain a bond: self-disclosure, supportiveness, interaction and being happy and positive,” explained Dr Lisa Williams, senior lecturer in the School of Psychology at the University of New South Wales. When you share a passion or an activity, the friendship comes easily and the energy can be contagious — in a good way.
Going after a passion will not only give you and your mates something to talk about, but it opens up doors to a new kind of relationship that you’ll cherish throughout adulthood.