Friendship is so important in any girl’s life. It’s bad enough having to go through high school, navigating the different cliques, trying to stay under the Mean Girls’ radars (unless, of course, you were a Mean Girl), all those awkward teen phases (hello braces and glasses, we are so glad you decided to happen at the same time!), to the downright b*tchy betrayal moments. But when things seem to want to derail, having the comfort of your #GirlGang can really get you right on track. This is so true all the way into adulthood.
High school was just a few years ago for some of us; for the rest of us, it was, well, way more than a decade ago. What was a daily huddle in the mornings before school started has transcended to special Whatsapp and Facebook groups where you plan those brunch dates (they sometimes happen, right?)
Just like love, we fall in and out of friendship. It’s completely normal. You can outgrow friends, or reconnect with old friends like you would a first crush and feel the chemistry right away. Sad but true, we’ve all been there. Here are some of our moments we realised we outgrew our friendships.
1. “When we were all already in University and they were still talking about high school.” — VW
We all know this. All the little, petty things that were, well, petty, are still relevant to a huge chunk of your friends and you wonder, why? We’ve all grown up. We’ve moved on. The world out here is so interesting, why we still talking bout what Veena did in 2012?
2. “When you just don’t enjoy each other’s company, or feel like there’s an elephant in the room.” — PB
Sometimes you can not speak to someone for years and when you see them, you hit it off like there wasn’t a second that passed since you last met. That’s fine, it’s natural. Chemistry between friends is just like when you go on a date. Sometimes you hit it off, sometimes you just don’t. You can drift apart, gain different interests over the years. It’s the natural flow and ebb of life. Don’t feel bad about it.
3. “When you realise you have to mute their chat groups…” – VL
This is a spillover of point 2 – you don’t have common interests and the things they seem to chat about constantly 1. Just doesn’t relate to you, and/or 2. Annoy the hell out of you. If you don’t feel like talking about the same things over and over, you might have already outgrown your friendship circle.
4. “When they start judging you for your choices like who you’re dating now and your career path.” – SA
Judgment aside, you still need your friends to support you through all stages of life. If they try to bring you down based on your choices or don’t really want you to succeed, they don’t have your best interests at heart. Unless there is a glaring obvious problem with the person you are dating (AKA they have seen him cheat on you, firsthand), they should support and accept who you love and who loves you back.
5. “When they won’t let you grow.” — LE
This is related to point 4 – They need to see you as a person who needs to grow beyond the clique/friendship. You are your own person who’s trying to make your way in the world. If their comments or actions bring you down or sabotage your chance for happiness, it’s not true friendship.
6. “When you don’t want to hang out and don’t really care?” — SB
The crux of friendship is reciprocation. About caring for the other party as much as you want them to care for you. When you realise that you don’t really care for the persons or the friendships, it’s time to move on. It’s not fair to hold on. The feeling of wanting to care should go both ways.
7. “When we were taking photos together and I was much taller than all of them.” — NI
… … Oh, wait, you meant, outgrew, literally? Excuse us, we’re doing something about this person.
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