Ever feel guilty for, err, pretty much everything? Well, as #teamCLEO finds, there are some things you shouldn’t atone for. It’s times to be as unapologetic as Cara D.
“Sorry I forgot to text you back. Sorry, are you busy?” In a world where “sorry” seems to pop up as often as a Kardashian belfie, we need to make the decision to unapologetically own our awesomeness. Start by watching covergirl Amy Schumer’s Sorry sketch. Here are some situations which you shouldn’t apologise for:
Not hooking up with that dude you just met on the d-floor
We’re guilty of the sloppy pash every now and then, but some people just aren’t worth swapping saliva with. “The choices and actions you make defines your character,” says life coach Bobbi Chegwyn (askcoachbobbi.com). “You can still have a great night out, meet and mingle without losing your self-respect, by hooking up with the first random you come across.” Trust us, you’ll be thankful for resisting the kiss in the morning when the beer goggles wear off and you realise that the Channing Tatum lookalike giving you eyes was anything but. Shudder.
Changing the subject when your pal is bitching about another friend
If you need to vent to someone you trust, go right ahead. But mouthing off just to join in on the convo makes you a follower, and that ain’t cute. “Gossip is much more of a reflection on the gossiper’s character than the person they’re talking about,” says Chegwyn. “Go for facts over fiction, you’ll retain more friends in the long run.”
Ordering a steak and beer at the pub when all your friends order salad and water
In an age overflowing with kale and quinoa salads, diets and detoxes, don’t ever be afraid to go against the (multi)grain and order the food that you really feel like eating. Chegwyn explains that it comes down to your level of personal confidence. “Odds are your girlfriends want to tuck into that steak but are living by other’s definitions of who they should be and how they should look,” she says. Now, can we get chips with that?
Leaving a party at a decent hour. (Because, hangovers)
Friday night drinks with your friends are an absolute must. Although, if you don’t know where to draw the ‘no more vodka, thank you very much’ line, you’ll end up spending your entire Saturday curled up in the foetal position, popping Nurofen and kicking yourself for the excruciatingly stupid things you said (err, and did) the night before. That’s right, you saw the Snapchat story of yourself and it was far from pretty. So how do you bring on all those guilt-free vibes after a night out on the town? Taking the advice from Chegwyn might help you out. “Leaving a party earlier than your friends do will show that you’re making an effort to balance your own needs and priorities,” she tells us. “You’re creating time for both them and yourself.” Your pals can’t be mad about that, can they?
Having the unpopular opinion on some touchy subjects
When you’re younger, ‘fitting in’ seems like everything. But when you get older, you realise having your own opinion makes you unique. Even if that means you’re the only one who likes Marnie in Girls. “The unpopular opinion is often the one most are afraid to speak for fear of being different,” says Chegwyn. Sticking to your guns shows that you’re true to yourself no matter what. “Bandwagons are so last century. Live your life your way,” Chegwyn says. Cheers to that.
Not being a total booze hound every single weekend
While we all need a vino sometimes, you can be the life of the party without getting drunk. Chegwyn says, “Choosing not to consume large amounts of alcohol shows people that you’re strong and comfortable as the person you are – that person is the one your girlfriends know and love!” And
if you’ve opted for a Netflix night rather than a boozy bar hop, don’t get FOMO when you see your best mates upload fun Instagram pics. Get lost in a House Of Cards marathon with snacks on standby – it’ll be your turn next weekend.
Bailing on plans for some alone time with me, myself and I
You spend your weeks making small talk with your colleagues, so opting to spend a day to yourself on the weekend is, well, necessary for your sanity. “Time alone shows you’re comfortable in your own company and don’t constantly need the guidance, reassurance and entertainment from outside sources,” says Chegwyn. “This is a nice space to recharge those batteries to be the best version of you.” And why wouldn’t you want to spend
time with yourself? You’re awesome.
Enjoying mainstream movies, TV series’ and music
Remember the days when you’d set your MySpace song to a cool indie track that was actually a total snoozer but still gave you street cred? Those days are done – so pump the Top 40 hits as much as you damn-well want. “Apologising for what ultimately brings you joy is apologising for who you are,” Chegwyn explains. “And doing that in order to make another person feel comfortable is only feeding their insecurities that everyone has to be the same. Joy is the number-one key to manifesting what you desire in life. Why give that up to please another?” Yep, we hear you, Chegwyn. Besides, anyone who claims that they don’t know all the words to Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe” has got to be a liar.
Being in no hurry to find yourself a partner. #singlelife
You may begin to feel pressured by your clucky parents and loved-up mates to bag yourself a partner, but don’t go swiping right for the wrong reasons. As Chegwyn tells us, these aren’t ideal conditions for meeting someone new. “You’ll always get different outcomes from what you perceive you have to do, and what you want to do,” she explains. “‘Having to’ find a partner can emit an energy of desperation. The ‘want tos’ will know their preferences, know their self-worth, know what they want and will understand the value in waiting until their match comes along.” Take that, Tinder.