In typical adolescent nature, we vow to ourselves that we’ll never be like our parents. I don’t know about you, but for me it’s something that I keep telling myself as I grow older. However, I end up catching myself saying certain things like my mother would or I’ll get people telling me that I’m just as stubborn as my father.
Without trying to sound ungrateful, I’m just expressing that if I were to have kids – I wouldn’t make the same choices that they made for me. I would swear to myself that I wouldn’t pressure my future kids into taking a certain subject at school or to never become an overbearing parent.
But the one thing that I do aspire is to have at least half of the relationship that my parents have. I say this because it’s the only love story I have ever known. I’ve hardly ever seen my parents fight but I suppose because as parents, they would try and not argue in front of their children. I know their relationship isn’t perfect because really, who’s is? But they’ve been married for 32 years so they must be doing something right.
We now live in a world where marriage is delayed or the idea of marriage totally bogus. Today, you’re not ‘dating’ – you’re just ‘hanging out’. And romantic gestures now come in the form of sending emojis.
Call me ‘old fashioned’ or a ‘hopeless romantic’ but it’s hard for people like me who wear their hearts on their sleeves to be immersed in a ‘pretending-not-to like-you-so-you’ll-like-me’ culture. I seem to fail at playing the game.
Thus far, these are things that I learned from my parents relationship
1. Acceptance & Understanding
My parents couldn’t be anymore different; my mother is completely bonkers and rash and my father is so stubborn but also very patient.
Their opposites balance each other out and they accept each other’s flaws leaving no room for resentment.
You can recognise that your partner has certain traits you may not like but you also have to realise that there was reason you fell in love with them in the first place.
Being able to communicate with your partner is how the support flows in. You them all about your day because, well, they’re your best friend and you clear the air of whatever needs to be clear.
Just had a fight? Talk it out. Don’t like something that they’re done? Discuss it. Try not to sound like you’re attacking them which will only lead to a fight you don’t like.
My parents have always shown the same face towards their children and their friends because it presents a strong front. People will know that they can’t fight the wall that the two of you have built.
You’re in a partnership, you’re a team – you have to be on each others side even if you are actually not behind closed doors.