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6 Reasons Guys Go MIA

Every girl reading this has probably been there: you’ll be happily hanging out with some dude for weeks, messaging way past your bedtime, making out in dark bars every now and then all of a sudden – he disappears like some lame illusionist’s assistant.

Your texts go unanswered for hours (even days!), he starts cancelling plans and making excuses why he can’t come see you, and your blossoming romance starts looking deader and deader. Why the heck do guys act this way? Oh boy, that’s a good question.

We turned to dating expert Violet Lim, CEO of dating company Lunch Actually to shed light on why some guys go MIA on us. Read on for some possible reasons why guys can leave us hanging. 

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he’s changed his mind

The absolute shock when you realise he’s changed his mind about you

Ah, cowardice: the default setting of so many young men. Perhaps he’s had second thoughts since your last casual hook-up, maybe you wore your hair in a ponytail and he’s more of a fishtail braid kinda guy (jokes, guys don’t notice these things). Somehow, out of nowhere, he’s not into the idea of ‘seeing you’ anymore.

According to Violet, there are three possible reasons for this. One of them is when you play hard to get. She says ‘He’s been asking you on dates for more than 3 times, but you always say no even though deep inside you want to say yes. He’s not a mind reader, so don’t play the mind game.’

Another? When you’re too easy. ‘You say yes to everything, including the food he suggests to order and the activities he plans. It can be boring if you’re just following his every instruction and putting him on a pedestal. It’s much more attractive when a woman knows her value.’

Third, you’re just showing him ONE side of you. ‘So yes, he has established that you’re attractive. But every time you meet, you don’t bring something new to the table, you don’t show a different side of you that can also be playful, goofy and ambitious. Looks wear off, but personality doesn’t.’

Rather than going the gentlemen way (you know, honesty, sincerity, and respectfulness) and being upfront, the easiest way for him to let you know he’s no longer interested is to leave you hanging and hope that you eventually get the message. 

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