What To Ask Yourself Before Breaking Up
You feel that it might be the end of the road for the two of you, but is that really what you want? We’re often too quick to give up. Instead of throwing out something that’s salvageable, here’s what you can ask yourself before calling it quits.
Is there anything worth saving in the relationship?
If you have trust, laughter and respect, then it’s probably worth saving. Too many people are too keen on throwing in the towel when it’s just a rough patch. It could just be that frustrations or unhappiness from another aspect in your life (or his) is filtering through your relationship. If that’s the case, then ending the relationship might not necessarily help things.
Do we communicate openly enough?
Have you communicated your wants and needs to your partner or have you begun to cut them off and bottle in your resentment? If the subject of heading toward Splitsville catches your partner by surprise then you probably have to start communicating more transparently to kick-start a healthier relationship. It might even unearth the deeper reasons of what’s causing the relationship breakdown and you’ll be one step closer to either fixing it or walking away.
Am I just looking for something new?
If you’re just looking for something new and exciting, a break up might not be the solution. You’re likely going to start seeing someone else and just repeating the cycle again of getting bored and wanting something new again. Remedy it by finding out the real reason of your boredom. Work at injecting excitement into your relationship and your life in general. Too often people think that relationships are effortless. It isn’t.
If I do want to save this relationship, are we both willing to put the effort in?
Relationships take work. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but it does require for two people to be willing to keep trying and be committed to making it work. Relationships are an ongoing project and if you find that you might not be willing to keep going, then the relationship might just be gasping its last breath.
Can I cope with seeing him with someone else, or me being with someone else?
Your world will change when you initiate a break up. Whether or not you will stay friends, they will start seeing other people, and so will you. If you can’t picture yourself or him being with someone else, then there might just be too much feelings still involved for a clean break. But if you see yourselves in different futures, then there’s no point dragging it on any longer.
Still unsure? Ask the opinion of others and don’t limit yourself to just friends and family. People in a neutral position can be more objective and offer impartial opinions that you have not previously considered. But don’t make a decision based on fear of being alone or being rejected. Those are the wrong motivators to keep a relationship going and it will backfire eventually.