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The Kiren Raj Case: How You Can Teach Your Guy Friends To Respect Girls

Over the weekend, a medical student at the International Medical University of Malaysia (IMU) is being called out by angry netizens for his sexist and insensitive comment on a news report about the death of artist Emily Kong, who was killed in an accident on Saturday, 9 March.

He posted that Emily could have avoided the accident had she not left the pub alone. The Star’s report has no mention of Emily being in a pub prior to the accident. In his comment, the IMU medical student said things like this (the accident) happens because women think they can do everything on their own and be independent. 

And worse, he implied that men give women rides in return for sex, and that that’s an expected practice.

The comment that got netizens raging

His comment read:

“Condolences.. I hope all the girls learn a good lesson now.. Never leave the pub without a guy.. Man and woman work together.. We offer you a safe drive home and you give us makeout or sex.. I mean girls like sex too right.. This is what happens when women think they can do everything on their own and be independent.. Every woman need men.”

In the latest update, an online petition is making its rounds, calling for the stop of Kiren Raj’s appalling behaviour. The petition has collected over 42 thousand signatures, nearing their 50 thousand goal. IMU announced yesterday that they would hold a disciplinary hearing to investigate the case. The institution also stressed that they do not condone such behaviour, pointing out that it instituted in 2012/2013 a social media policy that students were required to follow.

We at #TeamCLEO’s office are striving to make a difference, using our voices to bring an impact to society. Sexual aggression and  violence stems from toxic masculinity. But we believe in the ripple effect; where it all starts from one person to make a change. Have you ever been in a situation where a guy friend tells you something about girls and you end up feeling chilled right to your bones? Or when he puts his arms around your shoulders even though you’re not feeling comfortable with him doing so? If the answer is yes to either one, do you have the guts to tell him that you’re not alright with his actions?

Most of the time, guys aren’t aware that their actions like calling girls names, or telling them they can’t do certain things on their own and need men for it, or putting their arms over girls’ shoulders actually affect us. So, if you have ever encountered your guy friends or even your own BF doing something or saying something about women that you may not feel comfortable with, pull him to one side and educate him about respecting females.

Don’t know what to say? #TeamCLEO listed out a few guidelines to follow on respecting females for your guy friends or BF: 

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’No’ means ’no’

‘No’ is a two-letter word that looks simple but can be powerful. Nobody is a mind-reader, so it’s better to be straight-forward. If you’re hearing your guy friends complaining about some chick ghosting them and sometimes, to the extent of calling them names, you should stop them immediately. Tell them that it’s not cool to disrespect a girl just because they were rejected — it will only make them look like a jerk. Instead, they should just get the hint that she’s not interested and move on. And this includes trolling women in general online because he was once treated badly by a girl.

Or if you’re stuck in a sticky situation yourself, just say ‘no’ because you have the right to say so. Only real men and friends will respect your decision.

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